This year proved to be both the best and worst at the same time. I started the year by becoming a mom. Then we moved to a new state. I ended the year by losing my favorite dragon mare and adding a new horse (2 if we include Inca) to the family. I didn’t blog very much through the year so this might be a bit of a mouthful! Better late than never though.
January – March
The first few months of the year I was super pregnant. I am not going to lie… I hated it. It was worth it but I didn’t love the experience of actually being pregnant. I don’t feel like people are honest about how unpleasant it can be and it ends up making those of us that don’t have magical unicorn pregnancies feel like we are broken… But that’s enough of that soap box.
I was pretty much crippled by back pain and didn’t spend all that much time out at the farm. My horses got by fine though because I have incredible friends and everyone enjoyed their time off. Some a little too much. Luna did get put through the jump chute in March and it was awesome to see glimpses of the horse she’ll become. We were showered by friends and family too making us all ready for Baby Bea to arrive. 
April – June
In April sh*t got real. Seriously. I started to get pretty anxious about bringing another human into the world. Mid April Luna got sent to the trainers. I wasn’t blogging much (or at all) because I was so tired and sick all of the time but Luna turned into quite the pest. She grew like a weed and before I knew it I had a little HUGE bully on my hands. Being near the end of my 3rd trimester I was definitely not in a position to deal with her myself so at 37 weeks pregnant I loaded her up and off to boot camp she went. Disclaimer: it was not fun hitching up that pregnant but I am not a quitter!
Just 2 weeks later I was in the hospital having a baby. That was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life and I am really glad that we both ended up okay. Luckily she is perfect and it was all worth it the minute I got to hold her. Still it is not an experience I plan to repeat.
The first few months after Bea was born are kind of a haze. May and June we can sum up with the words sleep deprived. We did get to go on our first trip as a family of 3 though!
July – September
I was able to pick Luna up from the trainer at the beginning of July (with some help given that my truck broke down the day before) and all of the horses started being ridden again by my trainer. I really enjoyed just being the owner while I was recovering from my C section and unable to really ride. It was a lot of fun to see everyone go around but I began to doubt my ability to keep 3 horses going with a newborn. This is when I started discussing selling Houston. As luck would have it one of my trainers other clients was interested and bought him right before we moved. He is now in the most perfect home teaching adult ammies and getting more cookies than he knows what to do with. Getting to sit on Luna for the first time was one of the highlights around this time.
Labor Day weekend we officially moved to Texas. I left a huge piece of my heart in Nashville with my framily there. Luna also stayed back so that she could grow up more (in a way better living situation bc grass) and get her learn on before I take over the ride. Bea and I got to go to her first WEG in September!
October – December
Just when I was settling from our move the universe decided to hit me once more. It really felt like if I didn’t have bad luck I would have no luck at all around this time.
As most of you know I was forced to make the call to say goodbye to my too young and larger than life mare Annie last month. She left an impression on everyone that met her. I am a better person, horsewoman, and rider for having her in my life. To the very end she was teaching me and I will forever be grateful to have been able to call her mine.
That was the hardest decision I have had to make. It wasn’t black and white. Although nothing would have made it any less heartbreaking for me. I have spent the past month beating myself up about all of the decisions I have made but know I did everything in my power for her and did exhaust all of my resources. Ultimately I do find a little comfort in knowing that all of the vets (there were a lot) that I had advising me came to the same conclusion. I did what was right for her even if it was hard for me. Thank you to everyone that reached out to me afterwards. I really appreciate it even if I wasn’t prepared to talk about it at the time.
Two short weeks after losing Annie I jumped head first into the deep end by buying a young OTTB gelding (sorry Kyle). I wasn’t exactly rational in the weeks leading up to and following losing Annie. I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t second guess myself for the choice to buy a 3 year old. When I finally got to meet him though I realized that he and Inca are the best medicine yet.
This year has certainly been a roller coaster but I am forever grateful for my supportive family, amazing friends (new and old), and all of the animals that walk with me through this crazy life. Nothing could have prepared me for the joy of becoming Beatrix’s mother and I am going to focus on that as we close out one of the hardest years I have had. In her short 8 months of life she has been with me to TN, CA, TX, NC, and GA. Technically she drove through AR on our pilgrimage south too! This year she accompanied me to countless horse shows (both as spectators and volunteers). She is a great adventure side kick and the best barn buddy. She truly is the best thing that happened this year or ever.
I might have closed a few chapters this year but I started so many new ones as well. I know in my heart that 2019 has so much to offer. Here’s to moving forward with all of the lessons this year has offered me. What are you most excited for in the new year?
Serious roller coaster this year, that’s for sure. I’m hoping 2019 brings you all good things, and fun adventures with Dobby and Bea!
I think you have built up a lot of great karma going into 2019. Here’s hoping the universe rewards you with great things! (Dobby and Bea are a great start!) <3
What a year! You’ve done amazing. The universe seems to like to throw as much as it possibly can at first time moms the first year! I went through so much of the same with a painful delivery, zero sleep, putting my horse down, moving and of course, lots of good stuff too. Always here for you, always cheering you on. I’m looking forward to finally reclaiming a few bits of myself and my own personal goals this year.